The Difference With Keisuke
by Jinhito
Summary: The two of us are twins. Okay, so which one of us is gay? Dounika Naru Hibi is an unlicensed Japanese manga by Shimura Takako.


**Title:** The Difference With Keisuke  
**Author:** Jinhito  
**Summary:** "The two of us are twins. Okay, so which one of us is gay?".  
**Author's Note: **Written under guise _Little Like Lolita_ for the 2010 OSS Summer Challenge hosted on livejournal.**  
Other Note:** To locate the series that inspired this story as well as to read the original html author's footnotes for in-text understanding, please visit my deadjournal via the link on my profile and search the calendar for July 9th, 2010.

* * *

To understand Keisuke is both a physical and mental improbability. His own twin brother, Yusuke, who has spent the last sixteen and a half years of life with him still doesn't fully get him.

And sometimes, he quietly admits, he doesn't understand himself either.

The past couple months have been somewhat difficult. He's had to deal with his brother _coming out_ and professing his _gay_ love for a fellow _male_ classmate... he's also had to deal with perverted home tutors who do very ambiguously _gay_ things to their students... it's all very confusing really... as though being sixteen isn't already hard enough.

But the hardest thing he hasn't yet come to terms with, is how he really feels inside about all of the things that have happened. He can't explain why he gets so defensive around Yusuke and his boyfriend, why he says things that are hurtful and mean and not really what he wants to say but does any way... he especially can't explain why he did such shameful things with his tutor... or why he even let them continue to happen after his horrible reaction during the first incident.

It never should have escalated as far as it did, and now it's hard finding reasons why his mother should not re-hire the bastard for this coming semester even though his grades had never looked better. She's really persistent, not a cute quality in a woman he thinks. Nibbling on a piece of toast, he watches his brother uselessly trying to cram more information into his head for an upcoming test before they head out to catch their respective trains to school. This is not what he wants to be thinking about before he has to go out in public.

Yusuke is sprawled over their little kitchen table, his hair an unkempt mess from oversleeping and possible laziness. He has the top couple buttons of his gakuran undone and Keisuke wonders vaguely if other boys, _other gay boys_, would look at his twin and consider that cute or hot - or any other form of attractive that he shouldn't be so curious about in the first place. Will Iwata see Yusuke's exposed neck like this? Will he have fantasies throughout the school day where he can lean in and kiss it? Will he imagine sucking and licking all the way up along his brother's bobbing adam's apple when he moans disgustingly because it feels so good?

"Keisuke."

He's not paying attention.

"Hey! Keisuke!" Yusuke is waving a frantic hand in front of his face. The toast is now soggy and tasteless in his mouth.

"If you don't hurry up I'm gonna have to leave without you! We're gonna be late!"

"Yeah, yeah," Keisuke mutters, watching his brother hastily shoving any notes and assignments from the table into his school satchel. He doesn't bother to help him.

As Yusuke rushes to the door to exchange indoor slippers for school shoes, Keisuke finds himself bringing their breakfast plates to the sink. He has to deposit the rest of his uneaten toast in the trash before he grabs his formal jacket from the back of the chair and then follows Yusuke out the front door. 

* * *

They part ways at the station. They've done this many times before so it doesn't feel weird when someone stares at them; two people with the same face but different uniforms going separate ways in a sea of flesh and clothes. The weird thing now though is watching his brother rush to catch up to another boy in a uniform eerily similar to his. It's Iwata, has to be, Yusuke looks too damn happy for it not to be.

The thought of them together makes Keisuke sick to his stomach and he almost misses the last morning train headed to Toda. He may not be the best student, which is in all actuality why he and Yusuke have to attend different high schools, but damn it he can at least make it to class on time.

People push and shove him as the doors slide shut. The automated female voice politely asks guests to mind their belongs and to please hold on tight, the train will shortly be in motion. He grabs a handle hanging from the ceiling as they begin to slowly pull out of the station. Keisuke has managed a pretty decent view from a nearby window, but the experience is wasted on someone like him. He's met Iwata up close before, doesn't seem like that bad of a guy except for the fact that he's a homo in disguise. Just looking at him you never would have guessed it... Yusuke either, even though he has to admit his brother has always been a little on the shrimpy side... but he doesn't want to focus on stuff like that because it would mean he came up short somewhere too. That's the problem when you share your face with another person, you're constantly comparing yourselves to one another even if you don't mean to.

Maybe that's the problem... if he didn't have his school bag in his left hand he would have the insane urge to rub his eyes raw. He's over thinking this, so much so that it's beginning to interfere with his daily life to the point where he's become extremely self-conscious about himself and the impressions strangers can get just by looking at him - he never used to give a crap about what anyone else thought! But what if they can tell that Yusuke's gay... what if it's just not obvious to him because he holds some kind of potential bias? Would they think him gay too simply by physical association?

That's disgusting and gross and some level of wrong he can't even imagine people thinking about that this early in the morning.

But he's thinking about it.

He's thinking about it a lot. That notion disturbs him nearly as much a the time he heard Yusuke and Iwata through the wall doing perverted things. His mouth is suddenly dry and his heart is beating so loudly he's almost afraid the people standing around him can hear it too. But that's impossible, the logical part of him knows this... he has to be sick, this has to be some kind of sickness.

Before the train even begins announcing their timely arrival at the Toda-Koen station, Keisuke has already decided that his first hour class time will be spent in the nurse's office making sure he doesn't have some kind of delirium-inducing fever. 

* * *

He spends more than just one hour _feigning illness_ in the nurse's office. He almost feels guilty but since he doesn't do it very often Keisuke can kinda sorta let today slide. There are worse kids out there than him, kids who spend entire weeks in the infirmary with some stupid fake ailment they made up on the commute to school.

He stepped off the train a couple minutes ago and briefly contemplated waiting for Yusuke, but decided against it with his better judgment because he didn't want to see him and Iwata being all lovey-dovey in public. Truthfully he knows his brother would never openly flaunt his homosexuality, Japan is getting more modern day by day but traditional views are traditional views. Same sex partnerships are not the most publicly tolerated things. Even knowing this and that he still pretends that that's exactly how they'd be if he saw the two of them step off the train together... hand in hand... eyes all bright and steps upbeat.

He openly baulks at the very idea of it. Walking home solo has never been an easier choice to make.

It's just a shame when his plan backfires and there are two sets of student shoes at the stoop of the front door. His house slippers are also missing... the thought unsettles him more than it upsets him. He begins removing his shoes and calls out the standard greeting, "I'm home."

Two voices answer him back from somewhere in the living room, "welcome home!"

Keisuke grimaces before begrudgingly grabbing his school bag and trudging deeper into the house. Over the back of the sofa he can see the top of Yusuke's head scooting away from the darker haired person who is Iwata. He's being polite for my sake Keisuke thinks, only slightly grateful for small miracles.

"Mom not home?" he asks walking behind the sofa and making an effort not to pay a lot of attention to the two boys who are still too suspiciously close in his opinion.

Yusuke pops up on the other side of the couch and shakes his head. "No she left a note on the kitchen table. Said she wasn't gonna be back until later tonight... we uhm... we have to fend for ourselves if we want dinner." Keisuke nods in acknowledgment but doesn't say anything else. He beelines directly for his room and shuts the door quietly.

Yusuke finds himself gnawing on his lower lip when Iwata's warm hand makes contact with his lower back.

"Don't worry about him so much," the other tries to be comforting, "you know how he is after all... probably didn't expect to see me here."

Yusuke makes an agreeable noise at the back of his throat but he can't help but be worried about his sibling. It's like telling rain not to be wet; it's stupidly impossible. But he lets Iwata rub slow circles onto his skin anyway before they finally get up to start cooking. 

* * *

Thirty minutes and two hesitant knocks later, Keisuke finds himself at the kitchen table with Yusuke and Iwata sitting opposite him with matching plates of pasta and silverware. He has his own in front of him too. It's a very simple dish and his starving stomach isn't about to start discriminating... but his mind is having second thoughts.

"Who made this?" he asks, it comes out sounding more offended rather than grateful.

"Not that it matters," Iwata says in between bites, "but both of us did."

Yusuke giggles - **HE GIGGLES** - "well Iwata-kun, you technically prepared most of it, I just got you the ingredients and did whatever you told me to..."

Keisuke's face scrunches up unpleasantly and the other two boys stop eating momentarily expecting him to make some kind of horrible comment that homos cooking gourmet-like food can lead to the gay virus spreading via ingestion.

"I don't really like pasta," he says instead. Only Yusuke knows he's a liar. But now he's exempt from having to enjoy the meal in front of the audience who so thoughtfully prepared it for him. They could have just as easily gone out and gotten food on their own without so much as a word to him. He knows that but he still can't help acting like an asshole any way. To try and take the edge off a little, he formally appreciates the food before finally digging in.

"Itedakemas."

He only feels guilty when his tongue quickly informs him that the taste is actually quite delicious. Now he really is a jerk. 

* * *

After they finish eating, Keisuke purposely taking the longest so he could avoid any more awkward bits of conversation, he returns just a little more humbled to the confines of his room.

If their mother isn't going to be home until later... he double checks the clock on the wall. It's already five forty and some simple math tells him that Iwata will probably be in his presence for at least another two hours. The thought is irritating to say the least because he really didn't plan on doing any homework tonight. Keisuke knows he'd much rather zone out in front of the tv flipping through public television and lame game shows where contestants physically abuse themselves for the chance at fabulous prices he's never seen anybody win, but _they're_ in the living room. He can hear them laughing about something over the sound of commercials. Probably aren't even watching the damn thing...

Any normal person might have just accepted this whole situation for what it was with a bit more grace; said thank you for the meal instead of skulking off without so much as a word, at least have tried to put some of this gay nonsense behind them and attempt to respect their family member and their lifestyle choices, maybe even suck it up and just go out there to watch television together because sitting around sulking about it isn't getting Keisuke anywhere.

It just makes him feel worse.

He dumps himself down onto his computer chair, the cheap metal and fabric whining as he teeters it too far back for its own good. Why can't he at least try to be a nice sensible person? It wasn't like he was actually _trying_ to be mean about anything, he loves his brother as much as he loves himself... and that's an awful lot coming from someone not so emotional as Keisuke.

This whole gay scene is just weird. He constantly feels like he _has_ to act this way or it might just keep getting weirder... this feeling... He rests his hands on his stomach, anything to soothe the discomfort this evenings unpleasantries have stirred up in his gut.

If and when Iwata goes home for the night and it's not too late, he silently promises to go to Yusuke's room and try to talk with him about some of the things he's been suffering through lately. How this horribly mean person that comes out whenever any homosexual overtones are mentioned isn't really him, how he can't help his defensive attitude that just comes out of nowhere even though he doesn't mean any of the hurtful things he says, but most importantly that he still loves Yusuke no matter what he is or even if it doesn't always show. Maybe his brother might even be able to wrangle an apology out of him. Keisuke will be damned if he ever says sorry to anyone not directly blood-related so if anybody has a chance at sincerity of any sort, it's only his immediate family members.

In the meantime, he fires up his laptop and pulls his class notes out from his school bag. May as well attempt to use the rest of the evening wisely and study since he really doesn't want to see that tutor's face again... if ever. 

* * *

Sometime after seven thirty, maybe a little closer to eight, Keisuke is awoken by a hand cautiously shaking his shoulder. His books are lying open and a few of pages have tell-tale wrinkles probably caused by the weight of his face. He must have dozed off partway between history and English. Keisuke adjusts himself to sit back properly in his seat and rubs none to gently at his groggy eyes. He doesn't seem all that worried, but he knows it's Yusuke instinctively and therefore no real cause for concern. Unless of course his twin came in here specifically to ream him out... which could very well be the case since he was such an asshole earlier. Really, it's not like he shouldn't have it coming.

But Yusuke isn't that sort of individual, he'd rather take it and suck it up and never tell another living person just how much anything ever bothers him. It's called being considerate to a fault. Keisuke knows how easy it is to hurt his sibling; he should be feeling worse than terrible about this whole situation.

"Uh uhm... Keisuke," Yusuke trails off. He's biting his lips and averting his eyes. It looks like he wants to talk about things but doesn't want to be so abrasive as to have this heart to heart backfire in his face. Keisuke watches him struggle for a moment before finally biting the bullet and caving in.

"I'm sorry."

"Wha- wait what?" Yusuke steps back from the desk and nearly trips on a pile of dirty clothes that never made into the hamper.

"Look, I know you didn't come here to yell at me... but it doesn't mean you shouldn't."

"I don't understand," Yusuke says, watching Keisuke direct him to have a seat on the bed. "I didn't come here to yell you at all." He sits down with his hands knitted apprehensively in his lap.

"I know that," Keisuke tries to rephrase it a he changes position on the computer chair, legs now straddled opposite the fabric and metal backing. "I just wanted to apologize anyway... I've been a bit... well I was a real jerk earlier and I didn't mean to be." His body language is really lax and unguarded; maybe he's more tired than he initially thought since he's being so honest about everything now.

"I just- well we had that talk a while back..." Yusuke nods slowly. "You remember, the day I was sick and Iwata came over and you two-" Yusuke's face instantly flushes with shame. Keisuke doesn't finish the remark.

"Anyway, I said I understood... but really, I didn't." Yusuke's face flashes hurt for a second, "I promise you now though I'm going to try." The look fades just as quickly.

Keisuke crosses his arms over the high back of the chair and lowers his head to rest on them. He's tired, not just physically but mentally and on top of all that he just plain feels bad. This is getting to be too much... he needs to stop.

Yusuke undoes his hands and places them on either side of his body as he leans back onto the bed. He sighs quietly not wanting to draw attention.

"You don't have to force yourself... I don't... I don't want to guilt you into feeling bad about anything. The decision I made about being..." he grits the word _**gay**_ out, "well it has nothing to do with making anyone upset or uncomfortable. I just wante-"

"I know all that already!" Keisuke says louder than he intends to. Yusuke jumps a little and begins to shuffle his feet nervously on top of one another. This has now gone from awkward to unbearable.

"I mean, I know you're not that kind of a person. You would never do anything to intentionally upset anyone. I just, I 'unno I just feel like some kind of a jackass all the time though 'cuz I know what I say really bothers you sometimes. I don't mean to say that kinda stuff, it just... well I don't know it just comes out!"

Yusuke sits up straight and watches his brother ineptly fumble with that admission absently. He doesn't know how to make this any easier for the two of them, so he opts to wait it out.

"I want to be a good brother to you, I want to show you I love and support you no matter what, but I... I have a really hard time wrapping my mind around things you know? Like it doesn't compute or some crap!" He waves his hands around in a frustrated manner before Yusuke gets up and embraces him with the chair wedged in between. Keisuke drops his arms onto the backing and lets his brother hold him.

"I'm sorry I can't be a better brother for you," he mumbles into the fabric of Yusuke's shirt. He feels his brother shake his head just as soon as the words leave his lips.

"No," Yusuke corrects, "you're a great brother. You're still trying for me and that makes all the difference."

Keisuke hugs him back. 

* * *

It's Friday and the weekend is fast approaching. Just eight hours of school left to get through and then they'll be free to do whatever they please. Tonight their mother will be taking the Shinkansen to visit their Father in Osaka. He's been gone for nearly half a month now working on some company business and both boys can tell the distance is wearing on her so they managed to convince her to plan a trip. This is something she never have the luxury of doing when they were small children. Now however they're older teenagers and can manage on their own for at least two nights, or so she is trusting them to do so.

At the table she is setting out breakfast and packing up the last of the three pre-cooked meals she spent all night making.

"Now I called the hotel and made sure the arrangements are until noon on Sunday. I'll try to be back before five 'o clock but since I have a ticket for the non-express train it may be delayed. Just in case, I made three dinners! The directions for each are on notes- Keisuke are you paying attention?"

"Yuh-huh," her son looks up from picking at his fried egg on toast. He hasn't even touched the two pieces of cooked ham on his plate.

"Well stop playing with your food then and eat! I'm not going to be here for the next few days to make sure you're taking proper care of yourself!"

"M_aaaaaaa_om I'm sixteen already, jeez..." he gripes but puts down the fork and crams the toast and everything else obediently into his mouth. Yusuke tries not to laugh while sucking out the contents of his soft-boiled egg. Their mother always spoils them like this when she knows she's going to be away. It's really kinda cute actually, Yusuke thinks, because Keisuke is such a mamma's boy but he'll never admit it.

Their mother gives them the last of the details about her trip and makes sure they can recite to her, each individually, the emergency number to the hotel room if anything unexpected should occur. She's nearly obsessive compulsive about this but two and a half days is the longest she's ever spent away from them, school trips not included. Granted this time they have each other but a mother's worry is a mother's worry... trying to express that to her two boys is for the most part futile because they will never understand her maternal anxieties.

"I'm only going to say this one more time. Please, please promise me you'll take care of each other." Her eyes are needy and seeking reassurance, she has her hands clasped tightly underneath her chin as she waits for both boys to assuage her deepest fears.

Yusuke laughs and picks up the plates he and Keisuke have just finished eating off of. "Mom, really, you act like you're going to be gone for weeks and not just a couple days..." he tells her as he sets them in the sink.

"Well days are like years to your poor mother! You want me to worry myself into sickness? How am I supposed to enjoy this trip if I can't relax for a single second worrying about what's happening to the two of you?"

Keisuke adds his silverware to the growing collection of dishes they'll probably have to clean up after dinner tonight.

"Ma," he tells her with a self-assured smile on his face, "we'll be okay, honest. But right now we have to go or else we're gonna miss our trains."

She nods in understanding but is still a little hesitant to let them pass by her without a second set of hugs before they finally manage to set foot outside the door.

"I believe you," she calls after them and watches as they walk in the direction of the train station and eventually out of her sight.

As soon as they make it out of earshot Yusuke leans in to ask the thing he's been so nervous about asking since their mother made her travel plans official. "Hey uh Keisuke-chan?"

Something about the added suffix tips Keisuke off that this isn't just some mediocre request; Yusuke's pulling out the big guns.

"Yeah?" He tries to appear unconcerned but a handful of possibly related thoughts have also been weighing on his mind too since their mom told them about her upcoming weekend venture. This probably has to do with Iwata.

"Well uh..." he begins with that irritating vocal fidgeting that irks Keisuke to no end, he just wishes he would spit it out already and be done with it, "uhm since uh Mom's not gonna be here and all... I was wondering if uhm would you be okay if I uh h-had uhhh Iwata-kun-" Keisuke interrupts him and forgoes any more jellyfishing.

"Yeah, whatever, I don't care."

Yusuke's face suddenly lights up like it's Christmas and he's so excited he can't contain it. He grabs Keisuke in an awkward sideways hug and thanks him endlessly until they make it to the train station. He mentions that it's always hard to spend time with Iwata without either of their parents suspecting anything strange, but he's so happy that Keisuke can do this one thing for him, he doesn't even know how he's going to return the favor.

Keisuke rolls his eyes like it's some nonchalant thing he was supposed to do in the first place. But even though he said the words so smoothly as if without thought, when he sees his brother finally catch up to Iwata on the opposite end of the station's platform and two faces smile back at him already beaming at the prospects of tonight, he feels his stomach begin to unsettle violently with sick anticipation. 

* * *

School ended too fast. He's already on the train from Toda heading back to Saitama and this is ridiculous, where the hell did the day go? Keisuke drops his schoolbag by his feet and rubs at his eyes with the other hand not hanging onto the stand rail. He doesn't want to go home now. This staying overnight thing could potentially get dangerous. If they're there, alone, without supervision, what's to say just him being there isn't enough of a deterrent for them to NOT do perverted things?

Keisuke's stomach is starting with that same old disturbing somersault gymnastics routine and he can't tell if it's stress caused by the possibility of it happening or that it's already happened once before. Never mind the fact that he had previously told Yusuke he wouldn't be present that day when his brother brought Iwata home for the first time. He hadn't meant to be sick. It was an honest mistake, on his behalf at least... he most certainly wasn't the one having... having... se- s-se_ee_-_xxx_x _**gah**_ the word is so filthy to him even in **his MIND**! He's sure any onlooker must think he's ill by the looks of the horrible flush burning up all of his exposed skin.

He tries to take deep even breaths, anything to just calm the hell down!

When did it get this bad, where just thinking was powerful enough to make him feel this horrible? He grips the metal railing tighter as they pull into the station.

When he walks off the train, pushing and shoving amongst hundreds of other people who're interested in returning to their homes, he only makes it a safe distance from the boarding platform before stopping. Keisuke took his tan jacket off somewhere after they passed Kita-Urawa but his uniform has always made him look a little older so he's not really worried about somebody approaching him asking if he's lost or needs help. He just looks like any other person on the verge of deciding where they will spend the rest of their weekend in Saitama.

That is until he hears a voice too eerily similar to his own call out and he knows it's Yusuke and why is it when he doesn't want to do something someone makes him do it anyway? He sighs heavily and resigns himself to his fate. Yusuke is already running towards him, Iwata lagging not far behind.

"Aw, Keisuke you didn't have to wait!" he laughs and claps a hand on his shoulder, "I didn't think you were gonna take mom's words seriously or anything haha we've been doing this for the past year now and I think we'll be okay, but thank you for waiting for me and Iwata-kun."

Keisuke grimaces slightly but nods regardless, "well you know how mom gets about stuff like that, I just figured..." he trails off. He's trying not to stare at Iwata. He's trying _really _hard. Even though he's made a handful of comments here and there that Iwata looks stupid, foolish, uncool and a couple of other unsavory things, he knows deep down inside that it's all a lie. Iwata is actually kind of handsome. He imagines that this is what any normal person would say is really quite attractive. But thinking about other guys looking good? He feels himself blushing and tries to cover it up saying the humidity today is making him too warm.

Yusuke is nothing but happy and all of it synonyms. He links arms with Keisuke, but this act does not look unusual because they share the same face, and tugs him along until they make it out of the station. Iwata hasn't really said much of anything but he doesn't appear to be upset. If he's really put-off by Keisuke, he sure doesn't show it. They walk back towards their home, Yusuke filling in all the awkward parts with bits of necessary conversation. Every pause either Keisuke or Iwata answer him with curt expletives and it's enough to satisfy Yusuke until they make it into the house.

After closing the door, Keisuke is already seeing a problem. There are only two pairs of house slippers by the genkan. Their mother must have packed hers away before she left. This however does not deter Yusuke.

"I think we'll be okay without having to wear slippers in the house. My feet aren't really dirty, are yours?" He looks over at the other boys. His twin shrugs and begins untying the laces of his school shoes before pushing them off to the side. They walk past him having already taken off their sneakers.

"You're pretty daring," he hears Iwata joke with Yusuke over his shoulder, "if your mom knew she'd probably scold you."

"Nah," Yusuke snickers uncharacteristically, "a lot of the time Keisuke doesn't even wear his slippers in the house and she barely notices."

They both laugh.

"I wish my mother was like that."

Keisuke hunches his shoulders together in a protective manner, it's weird hearing people talk about you while you're still present. He gathers up all of his things with the intent to head straight to his room when Yusuke's hand reaches out to snag his elbow.

"You wanna order a pizza tonight? More food for all of us?"

Iwata has already made his way into their living room and is turning on the tv... like he _belongs_ there. Keisuke's brother stares at him looking almost half-expectant, he did act like he was totally cool with this earlier this morning did he not?

"Sure I guess."

"All right!" For a second Keisuke half expects him to kick up his heels or some other retarded nonsense. "I'm gonna go get the phonebook!" He watches Yusuke start off in the direction of the living room, but sees him stop halfway. His twin turns around and comes back looking like he has something he wants to confess.

"Thank you for being so nice to me today. I forgot to tell you last time, when there weren't enough slippers for all of us, I gave Iwata mine and wore your's... I know it's kinda dumb telling you that now, but maybe you were mad about it before..."

Hearing Yusuke say it like that, Keisuke realizes just how petty his personality truly is. He was upset about it. He would have been upset about it if it had happened again... even though Yusuke was right when he told Iwata that he barely wears the stupid things indoors like a proper Japanese young man anyway.

"It's not a big deal," he lies and steps into the entryway. "I wasn't really upset so don't worry about it."

Yusuke says he believes him but his face remains skeptical. He knows at least this much about his brother. "Well I'm gonna go order the pizza then, do you want tomato sauce or mayo sauce?"

"I don't really care," Keisuke answers, truthfully he doesn't plan on eating that much anyhow so his input isn't really vital.

"Okay..." Yusuke backs up a little, "but promise me you're not going to hide out in your room all evening?" Keisuke shoots him this complicated look that says he does whatever he wants and no amount of badgering is going to change that.

"Keisuke-chan..." his one weakness, "I didn't want to force you into agreeing to this but when you keep avoiding it-" he means his relationship with Iwata, "it makes me think you don't approve and well... what we talked about, I... I'm-"

"I'm just going to change all right?" It's an excuse to get away. He doesn't want to be the reason Yusuke cries. "I don't wanna sit around in this smelly old uniform any more than I have to on a weekly basis, so stop worrying about me and just go order the pizza or... something." Yusuke sniffs loudly and confirms Keisuke's suspicion that that's exactly where their conversation had been headed.

"Will you be out later?"

"Yeah," Keisuke gives in and starts walking to his room without looking back. 

* * *

He does keep his promise. Sort of. Maybe he's twenty minutes late... who cares. He comes out just as the food arrives and sits in the living room in front of the tv on the floor just like how their mom always tells him not to when she's there. But she isn't there so he does it anyway. Iwata and Yusuke are sitting on the couch, touching one another but only in a way that clearly says there really isn't enough room to lounge comfortably with a second body hogging up the other half of the sofa. It looks a lot like how Keisuke shares the same piece of furniture with his brother on Sunday mornings when they're too lazy to get showered or dressed or do much of anything for that matter really.

But they both behave. Keisuke tries to too. He's changed into some sweats and a hoodie, typical Keisuke attire and picks at his food from a napkin on the coffee table. They end up watching some stupid American movie about an old virgin who's having a hard time getting into relationships and consequently _not having sex _because he's a bit of a nerd. The movie would probably be funnier if it's main message isn't a low-blow kind of reminder that Keisuke's brother has already beaten him to one major first in life. Not that he's jealous or anything but masculine pride is still a form of pride. That topic is to remain off limits.

After it's over, they clean up the living room and put away any leftovers in the fridge. The perk of ordering out is that there aren't any more dishes that need to be added to the small pile already forming in the sink. Both brothers agree that whatever is in there from today can be taken care of at a later time tomorrow.

When everything is completely finished, Keisuke retires back to his room saying he has things he wants to do on the internet; talk to friends, check email, anything as an excuse to not have to play mario kart or some other multi-player video game with his brother and his brother's _boyfriend_.

It isn't so bad and Keisuke thinks that with time maybe he can become the nice accepting sort of person Yusuke keeps telling Iwata that he knows his brother is capable of being. But working to get to that level is kind of difficult and he isn't really sure if he's actually agreed to stop being so reluctant just yet. This is all very foreign to him and most things that cause discomfort or unease of any sort are typically avoided. Still... he is trying, even if it's only a little. He hopes it shows.

By the time it's eleven o' clock he decides to call it a night, feeling overtired from not sleeping the night before when he was still dreading this whole encounter. He can rest at ease now for the most part. Yusuke has been nothing if not discreet all evening. He doesn't really expect him to try anything later tonight knowing full well that his every action can be heard through the not so thick walls of their home.

Keisuke sheds his hooded sweatshirt and slips out of his sweatpants to reveal a pair of plaid boxers. He leaves both articles of discarded clothing on the floor and meanders over to the hamper in his closet to pull out a worn t-shirt to sleep in. As he works his arms into both sleeves he thinks vaguely about things as they might play out tomorrow morning. He hopes Iwata has the decency to wear proper clothes at the kitchen table and that neither he nor his brother are caught wandering around in any state of undress at any point in time during the night or tomorrow. Yawning he goes back to his computer and closes the lid on his laptop. As he crawls into bed he strains his ears over the quiet hum of the computer fan working to cool down the laptop on his desk. He doesn't really hear them anymore; they've either gone to bed too or are being quiet for his sake in the living room.

Keisuke pulls the covers up under his chin and shuts his eyes. He's asleep within minutes.

And he would have stayed that way too if not more than an hour or so later, he hadn't heard the loud shuffling of two people trying to squeeze into a twin sized bed on the other side of his wall. Keisuke's eyes shoot open in the dark, his mind is wide awake but his body is still too paralyzed to do anything about it. It were as though the usual lightening quick signals from his brain to his limbs were firing but no one was awake enough to interpret the meanings of said messages. His other senses like hearing however remain perfectly intact.

"Can you move over more please?" It's a bit muffled but he can still make most of it out. It really was asking for too much when Keisuke prayed that Iwata would end up sleeping on the couch or the floor like some normal overnight guest. Sharing a bed? He feels his ears burn, literally.

"Yeah, sorry," Iwata mumbles and some other indistinct noises. More shuffling followed by a loud thump against the wall and a low curse. Serves 'em right Keisuke smirks with a sick sense of satisfaction. Then it's quiet all over again. He readjusts his arms to lay outside his comforter and closes his eyes hoping he'll fall back asleep quickly.

No such luck.

So he lays there instead. Ears attune to even the slightest movement on the other side of the wall. Some whispers here and there, Yusuke laughs once or twice but each instance is very short lived.

This night can't get any worse, Keisuke is tried, cranky, _disturbed_ actually if all he can do is agonize internally over all the things he doesn't want to catch himself thinking about.

He's sick in the head. Has to be. What kind of a person listens on intently to make sure their own brother isn't having sex in the room next door to their own? The word voyeur briefly crosses his mind but just as quickly leaves when the shuffling sounds start up again.

"I-Iwata-kun," he hears Yusuke keen, it's a really strange sound, something between a plea and a whine, "we... we can't..."

Some more noises.

Keisuke doesn't even remember sitting up in bed to press his ear against the wall, but he had to have at some point and it proves for better clarity. They're not moving now.

"Yusuke," Iwata doesn't use a suffix.

Keisuke briefly catches himself biting his lip. This is crazy. Then he hears his brother moan. It isn't very loud, but with his whole body stuck to the wall like glue it's the only thing he can focus on in the relative silence of his own room. He feels his gut tighten, that same achey type of feeling he knows he's experienced before with his tutor when the other had tried to do all those nasty perverted things to him.

_Exactly_ the way he'd felt when he let that guy pull his pants down, underwear and all, after losing their little bet... his heart has moved up to claim new residence in his throat and suddenly he finds that he has a hard time swallowing. Thank God his mouth had already run dry by that point or he might have started choking on his own spit.

Whatever it is that Iwata is doing, Yusuke must really like it. More loud moaning now, not as contained as before and some more rustling noises from the sheets. What was going on over there?

Keisuke's stomach begins to drag that godawful feeling down in between his legs where it starts to pool and grow. And grow. And **grow**. He's absolutely mortified. What's happening to him? What's happening to his body?

Traitor. Dirty rotten bastard _traitor_!

He jumps back from the wall as if burned, it even feels like it right down to the marrow of his bones. All the nerves in his body are screaming to be heard all at once, a complete information overload, too much to process and what the fuck is _**wrong**_ with him?

He buries his head under the pillow and wants nothing more than to scream. How could he? How could Yusuke do this to him? God damn Iwata, god damn queers! He isn't gay. His twin brother may be but that doesn't have anything to do with him!

Keisuke stuffs more of the pillow down into his ears, anything to block out that horrible sound next door, and tries not to cry. He is **not** gay. 

* * *

Iwata doesn't stay over the next night.

If Keisuke can pretend it never happened, then this Saturday evening will feel like any other in his previous life. But it _did_ happen and neither he nor his brother can return to their old lives unscathed by the experience. Keisuke does the adult thing and doesn't try to bring it up. Yusuke is either too embarrassed by it to admit to it or he honestly believes his brother couldn't hear him and Iwata through the wall the night before. Either way everything is anything but normal in Keisuke's mind.

The next evening when their mother returns all invigorated and refreshed from the brief visit with their father, Keisuke is in for yet more bad news.

"So I did a lot of talking with your Dad," she looks pointedly in Keisuke's direction over the kitchen table. She's ordered out Chinese for dinner since she felt lagged enough by her journey to even remotely be in the mood to prepare a proper Japanese meal for dinner.

"Eh?" Keisuke messily utters, food still in the beginning stages of mastication in his mouth. His mother makes a very disapproving look and Yusuke pretends to suck the sauce off his chopsticks while watching the whole scene with much interest.

"We've decided to invest in that tutor again."

Keisuke proceeds to choke on his food.

"W-_what_?"

"You grades had never looked better than at that time," his mother explains in a very logically detached manner, "we both agreed that it was a wise investment and as long as we continue to see improvement your father and I see no reason to stop."

"You can't be serious..." Keisuke quickly deflates in his seat, chopsticks having dropped from his lax hand at the mere mention of the word tutor. His appetite has completely waned.

"Keisuke," his mother politely eats a small cutlet of chicken, pausing to chew and swallow, "your father and I only want what's best for you. Yusuke doesn't struggle as much as you do in school and we only want to give you both a leg up in the future of a competitive job market. You need to have a good education in high school to get into a good college, and a good college degree ensures you have a good chance of getting an even better job."

Keisuke sinks further into his seat faster than any quicksand ever portrayed on tv.

"You understand that this is all for your own good, right?" His mother picks up her rice bowl and begins to eat a small amount before returning her gaze back to her now silent son.

"Right Keisuke?" He doesn't move. He can't think. If his brain weren't doing it automatically for him Keisuke was pretty sure he might not have even been breathing.

This is bad. This is so bad. The last thing he wants is that notorious guy molester back in his life all under the perfect guise of **for his own good**. Nothing lately has been for his own good. Everything is just really frustrating, really confusing, and quite frankly really fucked up.

Keisuke respectfully thanks his mother for the meal and slithers hastily right back into his room. It's becoming more like a hideout as of late, a fort with a lock that keeps everything he doesn't feel he can deal with out... if only for a short while.

School starts again tomorrow; it's going to be Monday. Exams will begin in another couple weeks; midterms are the halfway point of an academic school year. His own personal hell will probably start arriving on their doorstep by the end of this week. _**That guy**_... Keisuke crawls into his bed and wishes with all his might than he'll disappear before it even begins. 

* * *

"Oh Sensei! I'm so glad you could make it on such short notice!"

Keisuke grinds his face into the desk harder. It's Saturday night and his mother is downstairs greeting that awful teacher impostor at the front door, offering to take his coat, bring him a refreshment and auurgghhh this is just so irritating waiting for the inevitable to happen.

A light rap of knuckles on his bedroom door confirms that this is not a dream and is actually happening to him. Damn it damn it damn it-

"Keisuke-kun, I'm coming in."

He grits his teeth. Damn it _damn it __**damn it**_! The door creaks open and not long after his old tutor's familiar presence looms to the left of him. All of it seems too intimate for his tastes. He refuses to dislodge his head from its current position sandwiched between his folded arms.

"Oh," Takashi-sensei only sounds vaguely surprised, that monotone humorless voice of his makes everything he says seem sarcastically aloof; Keisuke hates that quality about him too even if it is cool on other people. "I see you left the stool out for me."

It's like he's trying to imply that Keisuke has secretly been looking forward to this reunion. Best not to let those hopes soar. "My mother made me get it for you. She thinks you're useful even though I know better."

Takashi-sensei coughs into his hand, not so much a means to save face but really, probably, to stop himself from laughing. This is serious tutoring after all, need to pretend for the first ten minutes at least that it actually is before attempting to do some other _not so serious _things. He seats himself next to Keisuke.

"Not that I'm asking for you to give me proper respect or anything, but I did manage to up your grade percentile the last time we met. These sessions can't be all that... useless."

Keisuke finally lifts his head up to meet his tutor's gaze. He looks very much the same since they last met; same dark short choppy hair, same thick framed grandpa glasses, same nerdy wanna be cool fashion sense... he feels the tips of his ears begin to heat up. This is revulsion, nothing more.

Leaning over the opposite side of the desk, away from Takashi-sensei, Keisuke rummages through his school bag. He's going to be in control of all the things that happened tonight. Yusuke gave him a quick pep talk earlier that morning knowing that this man disturbed his twin in a way that no one should have even been able to. He told Keisuke that if after he had clearly expressed his views that this was going to strictly be a student-teacher relationship and those wishes were not respected, that a threat to end this man's employment ought to do the trick. Even if Keisuke has only gone so far as to tell his brother about the uncomfortable staring or unusual clothes request - just the first one mind you, his brother doesn't need to know he borrowed his gakuran without permission to fulfill that second request! And why had he even done that in the first place? - his brother had said that if all those things alone were enough to unnerve Keisuke then it was enough of a reason to fire the man.

And Keisuke agrees. Takashi-sensei watches as he pulls out two texts and one workbook. Opening them to the pages he intends to complete today, he waits for Takashi-sensei to give the go ahead for them to officially begin this session.

"Where're your books?" Keisuke asks in an off-hand manner, typically his tutor always carries something else to work on with him so he can fill his downtime when he's not needed to help. Honestly Keisuke could care less if the man's bored during his tutoring time, but if that guy has nothing to do while he's waiting For Keisuke to finish his homework then that just means there's going to be an awful lot of unnerving staring going on in the meantime.

"I have a paper I'm currently working on... I thought it would be rude to bring my laptop and type while you were trying to study or get your own work done."

That sounds remotely thoughtful, but Keisuke refuses to believe this man has ever done/not done anything for his sake.

"Suit yourself," Keisuke shrugs and starts in on mathematics. Not more than two minutes in and an unwanted hand invades his personal space to brush aside and tuck his hair behind his ear. He immediately stiffens at the contact but doesn't say anything.

"Still not really resisting I see," he hears the other man remark. He sounds almost pleased at that. Keisuke pushes himself away from the desk and spins his chair around to directly face his tutor.

"My mother didn't hire you to molest me," he says rather flatly. Takashi-sensei raises his eyebrows slightly behind thick-framed glasses; it gives him a laughable owlish appearance, but this is no laughing matter.

"I suppose that's true," his tutor recounts after a time, "things of that nature aren't typically included in the job description."

Keisuke balls his fists up and does his best to look as menacing as possible. The other watches the whole thing with mild amusement. "If this is what you want..." he trails off and nods for Keisuke to return to his studies.

The rest of their session continues on uneventfully, Takashi-sensei only leaning over to make suggested corrections here and there on some of the pages Keisuke's already completed. He doesn't move to touch Keisuke again nor say anything that isn't directly related to their subject of current study. It becomes all very impersonal rather quickly and when Takashi-sensei goes back to the kitchen to collect his pay and his coat the whole interaction strikes Keisuke as considerably cold. His mother is absolutely oblivious to the whole situation however and either way it's that fact, her not knowing, that bothers him the most. 

* * *

In the weeks that follow, every tutoring session proceeds very much like the end of the first one. Sometimes Takashi-sensei asks him questions, but nothing about himself that's truly personal. They're the kinds of things you can ask any stranger and get away with without seeming like you're prying into their affairs. His tutor has even taken to giving him numerous worksheets and standard practice exercises that are expected to be complete before each new session begins. This new teacher-y attitude is oddly unbecoming. If Keisuke could call it _creepier_ he would have, but this was after all the way he wanted things... right?

"Did you complete the drilling exercises I gave you last week?" Takashi-sensei seats himself down on the stool and pulls out a red pen from his shirt pocket. He's dressed rather sharply today for no reason in particular and Keisuke keeps sneaking glances at the others attire; the crisp pressed lines in his dress shirt, the rich black coloring of his dress pants, the way the tie around his neck could have been a noose instead because it looks like it's all done-up too tight.

Keisuke hands over his paperwork and watches idly while the other man methodically checks them one by one. He stops when he notices that Keisuke is staring at him with intent.

"Don't you think you should be using this time to study on your own Keisuke-kun?" The remark is almost biting but two could play at having an attitude.

"I don't really feel like it today," he says pushing himself an arms length away from the desk while still seated in his computer chair. "Besides, it's not like I have any tests coming up till finals."

"That is beside the point," the words are meant to be a reprimand, a teacherly one at that. "You should be using all the time allotted to you wisely to prepare. High school doesn't last forever and if you intend to do as well as your parents hope for, it would be best to study as often as you can."

"Phfft..." Keisuke makes a face and spins around obstinately in the chair, like he cares about any of that. If it hadn't been for his guilt about possibly being a bad son, he never would have let his mother force him into this in the first place. So many other things could have been avoided if that had been the case. He decides to keep going.

"Why're you so dressed up today anyway?"

Takashi-sensei stops grading again and this time sighs in near annoyance. "Not that it's of any particular importance but I had a presentation to do this afternoon. There was a required dress code."

"Figures," Keisuke mutters under his breath, looking everywhere but his tutor.

"Good then if that's the case please return to studying. I'm nearly done with these papers." Keisuke gives the other a sidelong glance and slowly wheels himself obediently back to his desk.

"When did you get to be so up-tight?" Keisuke wonders out loud. He isn't expecting an answer, that isn't how it's supposed to go.

"Look," Takashi-sensei sets all the worksheets and his pen down on the desk, "I'm only doing what you and your parents asked of me. What more do you want?" His eyes meet briefly with the other man's before some kind of shame forces him to look away lest this conversation go in another direction. He never thought he'd see the day that his tutor got angry with him.

But instead of saying anything, and above all else not apologizing, he opens his English dialogues workbook and begins working on a scenario where Susie is talking to Sally about her plans for winter vacation.

I want it to hurry up and be winter already, Keisuke thinks, doing his best to ignore Takashi-sensei and everything else about this moment that makes him feel so uncomfortable. 

* * *

"Keisuke-chan..."

"Wh_aa_at?"

"Uhh... uhm..." Not again. Keisuke glares at his brother over lunch. It's Saturday again and he's not in the mood for any of Yusuke's usual floundering.

"Get to the point," he stuffs more tonkatsu into his mouth and tries to soothe the oncoming discomfort with the taste of his mother's fine cooking. Why is he such a pushover lately?

"W-well... it's uhhh..." Yusuke bites his lip and fiddles with his chopsticks. Keisuke finds himself drawing swirly patterns in the curry sauce while waiting for some kind of a proper response.

"Lemme guess," Keisuke sets his chopsticks down and folds his hands under his chin neatly. He's trying hard to look like one of those police officers that's playing at the good cop/bad cop routine. This conversation isn't meant to go easy on Yusuke. "This gotta do with Iwata-_kun_?"

Yusuke sputters loudly at the added suffix. Their mother turns around still in the midst of washing dishes left over from breakfast. "Keisuke, don't tease your brother," she chides, seemingly used to these kinds of conversations between her two sons. If only she knew that this wasn't at all just mere teasing.

"Y-yeah..." Yusuke flushes as red as the tonkatsu sauce and Keisuke tries not to laugh. "I invited Iwata over on Wednesday since we have a half-day and then the rest of the week off because of university placement testing for the upperclassmen."

"Oh yeah," Keisuke looks partially distracted as he speaks, "I forgot your school did that..."

Yusuke simply nods and waits for the chance to elaborate more about this coming Wednesday since he's been so painfully embarrassed about telling his brother until now. Keisuke on the other hand, is busy making silent notes about things he would rather be doing out and away from the house the same Wednesday evening.

"Well I think it's wonderful you're bringing your friend over Yusuke," their mother butts in, having just finished with the dishes and wiping her soapy hands on her apron. "You know Keisuke," she mentions on the side with a certain tone of motherly concern, "I never see _you_ bring any friends over..."

"Bah!" he snaps from the table, "I have friends mom and I'd bring 'em over if I wanted to all right? I just don't. Geez..." Yusuke starts eating again but the look he gives Keisuke says they'll be talking about this again much later when it's just the two of them, no extra pairs of ears in on the conversation.

"Thanks for the meal mom," Keisuke says after depositing his dirty dishes in the sink like it were a bank.

"You know I just finished those," his mother's voice carries a hint of mock irritation in it.

"Yeah, I know," Keisuke replies, beginning to stretch out his arms and upper back as he walks toward the direction of his room, "but I have tutoring in a couple hours and I really need to finish my worksheets."

She lets him go without another word. 

* * *

"My brother's boyfriend is coming over again on Wednesday."

"And you're telling me this because...?"

Keisuke clicks his mechanical pencil exposing the lead until it almost falls out. It's an extremely annoying habit he's seen the other man do countless times before and upon trying it out for the first time a few weeks back, found that he too enjoyed doing it if for no other reason than to get under other people's skin.

"I 'unno," Keisuke shrugs, using the index finger of his other hand to push the lead back into the pencil so he can begin clicking anew. "Just felt like something I should tell you."

"I see," is the only reply he gets. It isn't the reaction he's looking for, if any. The fact that Takashi-sensei doesn't even seem to care in the least peeves him for some unknown reason.

_The fact that it's your dick makes it special. Get it?_

That thought rings on endlessly inside his head. It's totally uncalled for and not a memory he wants to be trudging up after all this time... that happened more than four months ago, and no, he still doesn't _get it_.

Because if it was supposed to mean anything then shouldn't he have gotten more of a reaction just now? Wouldn't Takashi-sensei have been more aggressive during their first re-encounter in so many months? Wouldn't he have forced him to- Keisuke stops that train of thought before it even leaves the station. What the hell? Why is he trying to bait this man? What is wrong with him, purposely trying to goad him on for no reason other than reassurance that... that... why _would_ he even be doing such a thing in the first place?

It has to be anger at being seen as so insignificant. Keisuke always hated people who looked down on him. It is most certainly not because he actually, not so desperately, misses that sick kind of attention. If he wanted relations of any sort, being a popular enough boy in school - the lazy, uncouth, cool type of kid - he could easily have a girlfriend whenever he pleased. But he doesn't want one. And he doesn't feel the need to be drowned in a sea of shallow people to help him forget his loneliness. Keisuke doesn't need any of that.

But he wants... something; he just doesn't know what.

Takashi-sensei sighs loudly interrupting Keisuke's journey to the center of himself. "I think we're done for today."

Keisuke turns to check the time on his digital clock. They're only twenty minutes into the session.

"You have forty more minutes my parents are you paying for," he says matter of factly, watching as his tutor removes his glasses to rub none too gently at his temples like a headache is freshly brewing. Takashi-sensei stops and turns to stare at Keisuke, about to say something. Keisuke beats him to it.

"I heard the two of them through the wall doing perverted things," he blurts out suddenly, his face not even having enough time to properly color from the mortification of that kind of admission.

Ito Takashi has heard many things in his short adult life, this ranks highly among the things he wished he'd never had the pleasure of hearing. "We are definitely done for today," and immediately begins packing up his things, worn black satchel on the desk in a flash with papers and books being crammed into it at an alarming rate. Keisuke shoots up from the desk and watches the whole scene with a distinct look of indignation written all over his face.

"My parents could fire you for this..."

Takashi-sensei slows down, if only for a second when he turns and looks at Keisuke with the most serious expression he's capable of making.

"Let them." 

* * *

"Wo_ooaah_..." Later that same night Yusuke is marveling at the story thus far, granted he's only hearing about select parts, definitely none of the crap that's involved him. But Keisuke can make some things up, paint his side of the story a new color and make himself the victim and not the actual reason why his tutor had walked out mid-session this evening complaining of a serious migraine. Their mother hadn't thought anything of it, just acted worried about her tutor-for-hire and whether or not he might have a hard time making it back home all right.

"So he really stormed out eh? What did you say to him?" Yusuke leans closer to his brother on the sofa, they're currently engaged in a button-masher fighting game. Keisuke is losing because he's paying more attention to what he's saying.

"I just told him the things we talked about... you know, about getting fired if he made me feel uncomfortable or did something weird. Well he started doing it again..."

That was such a lie. If he had ever told Yusuke before about how their first couple tutoring sessions had gone in the past month, which he couldn't remember if he had, he would be so caught up in it... but this wasn't easy. He couldn't just come out and say _oh well he got all mad that I was rambling on about possibly having some kind of gay tendencies towards others even though I keep insisting to him that I'm __not__ gay - which I'm __**NOT**__ okay and most definitely not for him thank you very much_.

That whole sentence had so many problems with it, it wasn't even funny.

Speaking of gay... "What time is that _Iwata_guy coming over?"

Yusuke blushes like such a little school girl about it but still manages to execute an awesome killer combo that wins him the versus match. He sets his controller down on the coffee table and looks over at his brother. "After school."

"Ah." Yeah, Keisuke is definitely going find other places to be, he doesn't really want his mother bullying him into being nice to Iwata just for Yusuke's sake. Even if their mother's presence means there will be no fooling around of any sort, he would almost rather jump off a bridge than have to be a _good boy_forcibly.

"You know," Keisuke begins rather loudly, their mother cleaning up after dinner in the kitchen no more than twenty-five feet away, "you really need to stop blushing so much whenever someone mentions Iwata, it really does make you look like a hom-" and then Keisuke is getting choked out by his brother in real-time. 

* * *

The train ride back home is shorter today. Keisuke catches sight of a digitized clock inside a station no more than two stops shy of his final destination. Even though the same amount of time has passed as usual, the perception has to be different. It's now Wednesday and he'll be arriving home shortly to his family plus one.

Not long after the last incident, Keisuke has learned to quickly get over the awkwardness of seeing Iwata visit his home once every few weeks. Rarely does the other boy ever spend the night, but when he does... Keisuke shakes his head as the train announces its immanent departure and begins to pull out of the station. Picking up speed rapidly means there's only about fifteen minutes left until he arrives in Saitama.

All of these conflicting emotions, a lot of pent-up _frustrations_... Keisuke just doesn't know anymore. Lately his tutoring sessions have been going steadily downhill and his grades have even begun to plateau. He figures it's only a matter of time until his parents go out looking for another _better_ tutor than Takashi-sensei. Keisuke also knows he probably isn't helping the situation any by purposely aggravating the other man during whatever little time they spend together, but this is the only way he knows how to be anymore; obstinate. But if he's honest with himself, he isn't really all that sure that he's ready to give up Takashi-sensei. That man may be a creeper, maybe even a closet homo, but he's at least a _familiar_creeper closet-homo. Starting out all over again with someone new, someone completely unknown - if this sort of thing happens to him again, if his tutor turns out to be another Takashi-sensei, he might really lose it this time.

Because being attracted to only one individual of the same sex doesn't necessarily make you _gay_, does it? Maybe it's like misguided admiration disguised as some sort of wanna-be crush, kind of like the intense feelings a person can develop for popular idols or celebrities. Whatever it is, in Keisuke's mind, the fewer the better.

It doesn't matter anymore how he views Takashi-sensei, he's done trying to rationalize why he has this seemingly unhealthy attraction to the other man, no matter what he does to deny it. Just thinking about some of things that guy had made him feel when they were still on casual speaking terms...

His stomach starts doing flip-flops again, he really shouldn't have let it get this far. When they finally arrive at his stop, Keisuke has never been more grateful for anything in his life, he just wants to get off this train and stop feeling sick. This kind of profound thinking is clearly too much introspective psychoanalysis for a sixteen year old mind.

He steps out onto the train station's boarding platform and beelines to the nearest immediate exit. He's going to walk back home and change, maybe then he'll call up his friend Masao who lives about a fifteen minute walk down the street for an impromptu visit so he can just get away from all this. If that doesn't work out, there's always the fountain square park nearby that's open until dusk or one of those geeky manga cafes closer to the downtown area that are open all hours of the night. He's sure that no matter what he decides to do people aren't going to bother him either way.

Perfect. 

* * *

But coming back to an empty house with one curious pair of abandoned shoes sitting in the entryway was not factored in. Keisuke sits down to untie the laces of his school shoes. Why are Iwata's sneakers the only thing out of place here? And where the hell are Yususke's house slippers?

As he enters the living room he spots the culprit lying spread out haphazardly all over the couch. Iwata's eyes are closed and more than half the buttons of his gakuran are undone. It appears he's sleeping.

Correction, he is sleeping, some light snoring confirms this. Keisuke stands there nearly transfixed a lot longer than he means to before his peripheral vision catches sight of a note left on the kitchen table. Having socked feet makes it easy for him to sneak around without making a lot of noise. The paper is crisp and white and contrasts sharply with the natural wood grain of the table, this note is clearly addressed to him.

A majority of the letter is written by his mother, the penmanship obviously in her own hand. She writes that she's gone off to pay a visit to their aunt in Tokyo. Her birthday is coming up this weekend and his mom had wanted to take her somewhere nice to celebrate. She also writes that she took Yusuke with her, no doubt in some attempt to coerce family intermingling with their aunt's only child Keiko. She must be twelve or so by now and even though she's their first cousin by blood relation through their father, her being both younger and a girl is still probably going to make her meeting with Yusuke awkward. Their mother really has no sense in things of this nature.

Reading further down, the post script at the foot of the note is in Yusuke's handwriting. Iwata hadn't wanted to be rude and impose on their rather abrupt family trip so he had opted to stay behind. Yusuke has written that even though he would be going along for lunch, he'd be back before their mother later in the day. There may not have been any sentence saying outright, _oh hey and please try to be nice okay_, but the subtext is clearly there in his brother's attempt to write in a very polite form of teineigo. Regardless of the fact that the few sentences his twin managed to jot down are more of an insult to grammar than to him, Keisuke pockets the note with some offense and takes it with him back to his room.

So basically Iwata has been dumped on him then?

He begins unbuttoning his tan blazer and hangs it on the hanger he threw on his bed earlier this morning. He needs to hurry up get and out of this uniform into some real clothes before Iwata wakes up. After blindly grabbing a plaid button-up shirt from the dresser drawer, he promptly makes a face when he realizes their mother must have mistaken this shirt in the laundry as his even though it's actually Yusuke's then he indiscriminately stuffs his arms in the sleeves without a second thought. Can't honestly expect her to know everything he sighs, sometimes their own parents still misaddress them if they aren't being talked to directly. Their father is more apt to do it though since he's home less often than their mother due to work-related business travels.

The problem with having twins...

Having traded his white shirt for the plaid one, he shucks off his pants and goes over to rifle out a pair of worn jeans from the hamper. Just about done, all he has to do now is make it to the kitchen and get the phone so he can ring up Masao.

The note is all but forgotten by now, lost on the floor amongst the rest of Keisuke's dirty laundry and he thinks nothing of it as he shuts the door to his bedroom behind him. The moment he sets foot back into the living room, Iwata chooses to open his eyes. **FFFffff**_**uuuuuuucccck**_**k**.

_Has your brother's boyfriend ever gone after you? By mistake..._

Iwata begins stretching on the sofa and lets out a yawn he barely manages to contain with his hand. Keisuke is stuck, frozen solidly in place because all he can think about are Takashi-sensei's uncalled for words.

_Or __**intentionally**__?_

Whether it was supposed to be funny or cute or some combination of both he doesn't know. He didn't care then, but it has his full attention now. Iwata sits up straighter on the couch, eyes still a little groggy looking from sleep but he's almost awake.

"Yusuke?" he calls out vaguely seeking reassurance even though it seems like he's fairly sure from the look of things that this person is indeed his boyfriend.

Oh shit. He thinks I'm-! Keisuke peers down at his borrowed shirt and then up again at Iwata who is now motioning for him to come closer to the sofa.

So many times as of late has Keisuke been put in situations where he could have otherwise done something to stop whatever is happening from actually happening... but instead he's chosen to do nothing about it. This time will be no different.

He doesn't say a word and pads softly over to the couch. His gait is slow and in control, but on the inside his bones have managed to turn the consistency of jelly. What an amazing feat! He doesn't know what the hell he's doing even as he comes toe to toe with his brother's boyfriend. The back of Iwata's dark hair is mussed and sticking up in all sorts of strange directions, it probably would have been funny in some other time and place but right now all Keisuke can focus on is how close he is to the other boy.

He swallows the lump that somehow managed to form in his throat somewhere between when he started walking over to Iwata and when he's offered a place to sit next him on the couch. He takes the seat against his better judgment, still not having said a single word.

"You just get in?"

He nods. That isn't a complete lie. But damn it why isn't he saying something, anything that gives Iwata the hint to back the hell off and no he isn't who he thinks he is! He catches himself wondering for the briefest of seconds what his tutor would say if he could see him now, this whole thing might be kind of funny to him. It's playing out just like a weekday television drama where the protagonist mistakes his lover for that person's _sinister_identical twin and oh how a raunchy love affair ensues shortly after the first mix-up! His cheeks burn up hotly at the thought.

"You okay?" And then Iwata's hand is on his forehead trying to check for some sign of a fever. "You did seem a little out of it at school today..."

Keisuke pushes Iwata's hand away the instant his muscles are finally able to translate the garbled mess his overstimulated brain has been forwarding to them for the last minute or so. This is going places way too fast that he isn't even sure he wants to go yet! He shoots up off the sofa, ready to grab his shoes and take off out the door without another word. How could he even conceive of doing something so- so...! He really should go jump off a bridge now if only to try and save some sliver of whatever dignity he has left as a decent human being.

But Iwata won't seem to have any of it, he reaches out to grab Keisuke's forearm just before he makes it clear out of reach. This guy really believes he's Yusuke, him talking or not. Maybe he's still half-asleep. Keisuke doesn't know.

He doesn't care either! Just as he's about to turn around and say something - FINALLY SOMETHING - about how this is a huge stupid mistake and no he doesn't know why he even came over here and let Iwata even begin to think he's Yusuke in the first place but damn it, it sure as hell isn't because he's curious about gays or quiet possibly being gay or any of that stupid shit, no because he's-

And then there's a pressure not entirely foreign pressing hard against his lips. It isn't rough, just really firm and unexpected. It takes a second to register that Iwata is kissing him. Full on kissing him, like trying to pull him back over and nearly onto the couch, trying to fucking make out with him kissing him!

Keisuke's brain fries up like an beat-up old computer's motherboard and just as quickly as all the circuits fizzle out into one big useless non-functioning mass, Iwata's hand creeps up to catch at the rounded angle of his chin. It pulls him closer and oh my god is that his _fucking __**tongue**__?_The nerves in Keisuke previously broken down nervous system spark back into life at lightning speed and he shivers uncontrollably from the sensation of touch, warm worn hands on his face, his neck, pulling him further down towards the couch.

"Take it your brother already came and left huh? You don't normally let me do this kinda stuff with you if he's around." Keisuke opens his eyes, when did he even shut them? He still hasn't managed to get an intelligible word out because Iwata is leaning back up to kiss him again. This time he succeeds in getting his tongue into Keisuke's mouth and though the thought of such an act had previously been one of utter sickness and disgust, having it actually happen for real... being forced into letting this happen... the whole thing isn't nearly as bad as Keisuke thought it would be.

He lets Iwata drag him down onto the couch with him. His knees are weak and there's no fighting this; the way it's making him feel all over inside. It's so good that it's terrifying, feels like everything a person could ever want from someone - maybe not from Iwata but maybe he can pretend. This kiss, his touches, the way he feels that the other isn't afraid to _not_be so gentle with him and oh god how he knows just where to lick and suck and Keisuke's so overwhelmed with sensation that he doesn't even hear himself make a moan.

Iwata pulls him closer and buries his face in the neckline of Yusuke's shirt, inhaling deeply before he goes back to kissing at Keisuke's neck.

"You're so cute..." he feels Iwata breathe right into his ear and the heady sentence goes straight from his brain right down to his crotch. That feeling, oh god. Iwata turns Keisuke's head and their lips meet again. Is he being kissed or is he the one doing the kissing? He can't tell the difference anymore. Something about everything they're doing right now, whether it's caused by the physiological drainage of blood from his head to another part of his body, he doesn't even... he can't focus.

"I think I like this _new_ laid-back you. It's kinda nice when you don't resist," Iwata shifts his hips and Keisuke feels another strange sensation poking up against his stomach. It's something stiff and semi-uncomfortable, but this time he knows **exactly** what it is. Fuck, _fuck!_Iwata's hard from them making out and holy christ he probably is too!

Keisuke leaps off the couch, more like falls, but his adrenaline is pumping and there's going to be nothing stopping him this time. Iwata doesn't expect the sudden dramatic change in mood and gets a face-full of Keisuke's hand when the other scrambles with some kind of urgency off of him and right out the door. It slams shut loudly behind him and when Iwata sits up feeling horribly wronged, he can't find words to explain the confusion still present on his face when the real Yusuke walks into the house no more than five minutes later **not**wearing the same clothes Iwata last saw him in.

What the hell is going on? 

* * *

He never should have done that. He can't believe he did that. He doesn't even feel any of the people he's pushing past on the street trying to get anywhere as far away as possible from the house. Masao's place is out of the question, he doesn't want to be interrogated about what happened because he sure as shit isn't going to be talking about it. The cafe isn't an option either because he left his wallet in the house and there's no way he can possibly go back there without seeing Iwata for a second time and what if Yusuke's already returned by now? Shit, shit! Where's the god damn park?

He rounds a corner and stumbles right into the last person he'd ever want to see after an event like this. Ito Takashi. What the hell is he doing in Saitama on a Wednesday night?

The other man immediately scrunches up his face in thought, quickly recognizing the face of this person who's crashed so rudely into him. Then Keisuke stands up and grabs desperately at him, tears brimming at the corners of his red eyes. Something is seriously wrong here.

"Takashi-sensei..." 

* * *

He does the adult thing and doesn't ask questions as they continue to sit on the park bench watching other people walk by. The sun is finally starting to set and when the rest of the park starts to clear out at dusk, they know they'll need to find another place to go soon too.

"What're you doing in Saitama on a weekday anyway?" Keisuke asks, he stopped panicking but still hasn't calmed down enough to even begin talking about what happened earlier to put him in such a state.

"You know, I _do_tutor other kids besides you," Takashi-sensei says looking off to the side. Keisuke won't meet his eyes so there's no point in trying to be direct.

"Phff, liar."

"It's not a lie," Takashi-sensei turns to see Keisuke looking right at him. There's something there, something vulnerable that he's never quite seen before. It's kind of endearing but he can't do or say anything about it in public as they are now. Over the past couple weeks it's kind of been hit or miss with this kid. Some days he cooperates, albeit only after moderate threats about his grades suffering and disappointing his parents, but dealing with him most days is more like pulling teeth out of a stubborn alligator. Takashi was actually beginning to have doubts about himself and what he'd initially suspected after their first and last kiss.

His original attempt at stand-offish behavior was meant to frustrate Keisuke into progressing their relationship further _himself_without feeling like he'd been forced into it against his will. What better way to prove his charge wrong than by letting him be the person who was in control of how their relationship grew?

Takashi kept that part to himself. Even if Keisuke had been working awfully hard the last month and a half at pushing every button he could possibly find, and even though last week hadn't been very pleasant he was still going to try and be there for the kid. This kid, Keisuke... It was the most sensible thing to do, at least that's what he told himself.

"Hey," he breathes out, nodding over in the direction of the sun's fading light, "you wanna get out of here and maybe go get something to eat?"

Keisuke eyes him suspiciously but knows he doesn't really have a choice. It's either go with Takashi-sensei or trudge back home guilty with his tail hitched high between his legs. He'd rather die than face that kind of embarrassment. Best to stay away until even he can't remember how things had actually transpired.

"Yeah."

"Let me call my other student first. I don't want that person's parents to fire me for not showing up without so much as a word about it." He pulls his shoulder bag up onto his lap and digs out a cell phone no bigger than the palm of his hand. It's sleek and modern looking, Keisuke tries not to sulk openly at the fact that his parents have yet to invest in one of those for either he or his brother. How uncool is it for them to decide to wait until their kids finally graduate high school before getting them one? They're the only kids in their classes who can't use phone mail. He idly fiddles his hands between his knees and listens.

"Ah, yes, hello Hitogawa-san. This is Ito Takashi... yes, yes I know I am late. My apologies, you see something very urgent came up and I wasn't able to- no, I'm all right. It was more like a personal matter. Yes. Thank you, I will try my best to reschedule for then. Yes, have a good night as well." He hangs up.

_Something urgent. A personal matter._

Keisuke crosses his arms over his chest in a protective manner and tries not to let the conversation sway him. Since when was he ever an _urgent __**personal**__ matter_? Maybe the day he and his brother were born... This isn't happening. He's not about to start feeling grateful for this.

"Well," Takashi-sensei puts his phone back in the bag and stands up. His knees crack a little, the noise a necessary distractor that Keisuke desperately tries to focus on. "Now that that's taken care of..."

A hand wanders in front of Keisuke's view.

"Shall we go?"

He doesn't meet Takashi-sensei's eyes as he's helped to stand and they don't talk at all on the way to a small cafe his tutor leads them to. Takashi-sensei doesn't loosen his grip on Keisuke's hand until they're just a few steps shy of entering through the front door. 

* * *

Three days have passed. Either Iwata didn't said anything or Yusuke doesn't know how to bring it up. Keisuke still can't get over his shameful behavior. How could he ever do that to his brother? To himself? To... to _fucking_Iwata. That kid didn't deserve that either and it's sort of weird feeling sorry for someone else for a change. It makes him upset, even more so than he already has been about the whole god damn thing in the first place.

Dinner with Takashi-sensei was... well to say it was a godsend is kind of overdoing it, but he is still secretly thankful that it was _him_of all people... no one has the right to see him in such a pitiful state. Ito Takashi is as good an alibi as any for having gone missing without a trace for a few hours without so much as a word, and though his mother was only slightly less mad about the whole ordeal because he'd been with a responsible adult; all of the, "where have you been, who were you with and my God why didn't you leave a note for someone!" aside. He bites his lip.

Today is Saturday and in another two hours his would-be hero will show up on the stoop with his bag in hand and more than likely some kind of shameless repugnant look on his face that says he was right from the start in so many volumes.

Keisuke hopes that that Wednesday isn't going to be held against him forever as some form of blackmail. This is the last thing he needs to tarnish his good name, and only at the ripe age of sixteen! He sinks further into the cushions on the couch and listens to his brother talking excitedly about their father coming home for the upcoming holidays.

When had he ever felt a disconnect such as this from everyone, everything? It's awful. He wants to bash his head into the wall. Nakamura Keisuke, deceased, cause of death serve head trauma due to self-mutilation. What a glorious plaque to go with his ever epic demise.

"Hard to imagine there's only a month left before the holiday season begins! I still need to make arrangements and finish up shopping!" Their mother has her hands clapped under her chin as if in a daze. She's always been a big one on the sights and sound of Christmas and New Years.

"Yeah," Yusuke agrees, looking over his shoulder for his twin. "Hey, Keisuke? Are you gonna go to the shrine this year?"

"Nope," comes the immediate response.

"Is it because your friends refused to go with you since you've decided to give up normalcy and become a hermit?" Their mother's a real class clown, he grinds his teeth to keep from being disrespectful.

"Y-you can come with me and Iwata-kun if you'd like..." Yusuke ventures tepidly. Maybe he really doesn't know.

"Pass!" he rolls over onto his side and buries his face into the cushy stuffing of the couch backing.

"Keisuke, honestly," he hears his mother scooch her chair heavily out from under the table. "Your brother is only trying to be nice. The least you could do is say, _no thank you_politely. I know I raised you better than that..."

"No thank you," he mirrors her words but sounds less enthused about it than sincerity calls for. The last thing he wants is to be anywhere with Yusuke and Iwata. Enough time is NEVER going to pass for him to forget what's gone on in the past few days. Doesn't matter if Iwata kept his mouth shut! He wants to keep everyone at a distance if only in this one instance.

"At least try to sound somewhat respectful if you're only going to mock me..." His mother gets up from the table and goes to wash her hands, she's preparing to make dinner. As Keisuke chances a peek over the edge of the couch he sees Yusuke staring at him. The look he gets says he knows something more and it makes Keisuke fall back behind the fabric of the sofa like it were a shield. He waits until his mother starts up another conversation with his brother before slinking silently back to his room unnoticed. It's decidedly a safer place even if it's not going to be keeping him safe for much longer. Only one hour and forty-five minutes left to go. 

* * *

"You've been quiet for most of the evening, is something the matter?" Takashi-sensei leans in awfully close, too close to be considered accidental. It's not comforting but also not wholly intrusive. Keisuke shrugs his shoulder to try and bargain for some space.

"Not really," he half means it this time. For too long now have people been asking him the same question. He doesn't even know if he has the correct answer inside him.

"You know, lying about it won't make it any less true."

"When did you get to be so _smart_," Keisuke sneers and slams his textbook shut. He's done for the night, no more studying at this point is going to pay off. Might as well just throw in the towel and chalk it all up to childish bad behavior. Ambivalence, he thinks, perfectly describes this moment.

"I'm not trying to be _coy_," Takashi-sensei uses the same verb Keisuke once accused him of but puts a different spin on it's meaning this time. Setting down his book, the one he brought with to study from because there's a big exam coming up and even though he's a tutor it doesn't mean he doesn't need to study either, Takashi-sensei wraps an arm around Keisuke and pulls them closer together. They're seated side by side but it can still be considered an embrace of sorts. It's kind of awkward and Keisuke's stomach starts churning for so many reasons he can't even begin to describe.

His lips are tingling too but he keeps that part to himself.

"You never really are," it comes out sounding a lot less mean than he planned. When his tutor leans in to kiss him, he simply gives up his front and lets the other man do so, _full on_kiss him and he even shuts his eyes telling himself to not be repulsed by the idea of it even though that's his very first reaction. He wanted this right? This kind of relationship, he fantasized about it when he let Iwata feel him up on the couch that day, even let the other guy stick his tongue in his mouth and Takashi-sensei pulls away slowly to look him straight in the eyes.

"In four more weeks it'll be a new year. You'll be done with school and we won't have any more sessions left unless your parents decide to rehire me for next year."

Keisuke's face remains blank despite the admission. It almost sounds pained, despaired and horribly, awfully **desperate**. He clenches his hands tightly into fists but says nothing. This isn't exactly what he expected to happen tonight with regards to their last meeting a few nights before. To think they'd exchange places and instead he'd be the one feeling more like the adult.

"I don't think they will," Takashi-sensei lowers his head as he says this; he's talking about the rehiring part. Keisuke's grades haven't seen improvement in weeks but then again he was purposely sabotaging them at that point, anything to show just how defiant he could be. But now he's being asked to try for the sake of something bigger than he can possibly wrap his mind around. He's sixteen after all and even though his seventeenth birthday is only a few months away, of course it's completely unreasonable to ask such a thing of him.

But after much deliberation and the quick unexpected kiss he received before Takashi-sensei dropped him off at the door to his house... age seems a lot less consequential in the making of this decision.

This time, Keisuke is the one who reaches out and moves to kiss Takashi-sensei. This time it doesn't feel like any of the other kisses they've shared before, suddenly it's different and purposeful and with a meaning that he's not quite sure he fully understands but what has rationality done for him lately anyway? A whole lot of nothing, that's what. He keeps it very brief and when they separate he says the first thing that comes to mind.

"Come do Hatsumode with me."

For once Takashi-sensei is the one who almost looks like he's about to cry. 

* * *

Tokorozawa Shimei is unbelievably crowded and just when Keisuke thinks it can't get any worse, more people are showing up the closer it gets to midnight. The air is cold and bites at his skin, this stupid down filled jacket isn't helping make him any warmer. An arm slips around him and pulls him closer, it's Takashi-sen- well, not really sensei any more since they're no longer seeing each other for lessons.

It's hard to forget that part of who this man has become to him though. It's weird and creepy and sorta sloppy romantic like a high school teacher-student love affair. Takashi doesn't seem to mind despite the fact that he's the senior in their relationship. He'll be graduating from his university in the coming spring if all goes as planned, they haven't really talked about what will happen if they even make it there.

This liking guys thing is still kind of strange too, but because it's so brisk out and many groups of family and friends are huddled together to keep warm they don't really look all that out of place. He colors more from embarrassment than sheer cold.

"Did you think about the things you want to wish for for next year?" Takashi has his eyesight trained over a crowd of people piled up on the stairway leading up to the shrine's main entrance. There's still some time left before the real new year begins.

"Not really," Keisuke's lying and it's obvious to both of them. Takashi doesn't say anything and pulls him closer if that's even possible. In his coat pocket, Keisuke's been toying with the omikuji he paid for a couple minutes before Takashi showed up to walk with him into the larger sea of people. It has some general crap here and there about money, luck and life... but the strangest thing it talks about is on the subject of _love_. The whole part of the fortune it's written in is very vague and ambiguous, as expected of a mass fortune-telling machine, however there is something very peculiar about the words of wisdom he received compared to any others he's ever had the pleasure of reading in the past. It says to remain open-minded and not to overlook instances due to bias caused by uncertainty and fear.

It could be a whole load of crap that he's buying into but if it's fate and meant to be, it sure picked a hell of a time to spring up now. And they haven't done much other than kiss occasionally and maybe once he let Takashi stick is hand down his pants but nothing came of it because it's all just too weird letting your tutor jerk you off in a house where your parents or brother could potentially be listening in on the whole god damn thing.

He doesn't really know **what **he wants out of their relationship if anything since he's never been the needy type looking for any sort of physical fulfillment. Just simply being and knowing that is more than enough for him right now.

"Keisuke," no honorific because at present they are equals, "did you buy an omikuji yet?" Takashi is looking down at his watch and adjusts the collar of his jacket for good measure. He's probably freezing too but being able to spend time together like this must mean more to him as well.

"Yes," Keisuke says while eyeing Takashi as he begins digging in his own pockets for the one he just spent a five-yen coin on. It's still pressed flat in near-mint looking condition. Must have been a good one.

"Want to see?" He flashes it in front of Keisuke and gives him a rather cheeky looking grin. This may or may not bring bad luck to the person willing to share their fortune; some kind of stupid superstition, but Takashi is willing to take that chance with him.

It _must _mean something more.

"Not really..." he shrugs and looks the other way as Takashi begins prattling off some of the better highlights listed on his fortune. He gets noticeably more excited as he reaches the end of the omikuji.

"It says I have a small blessing that can be expected in the near future," he takes the small scrap of paper and folds it back into the back pocket of his pants. He even pats it lightly for further vindication. "For once, it's nothing bad this year!" He beams as wisps of his breath fog up the thick plastic framed glasses he always wears. Takashi then removes his arm from around Keisuke's shoulders and reaches down to grab his hand instead. It's just about midnight now and if they want to get to the shrine's main entrance some time this century, they need to hurry up and get in line before more people mob the steps and make entry virtually impossible.

"Just because you told me yours, it doesn't mean I'm gonna read you mine," Keisuke says, not completely looking away from the other man while fingering his own fortune hesitantly with his free hand. He lets Takashi lead him up over the bridge and they seamlessly mesh into the crowd of people as everyone starts to count down loudly from ten.

"It's all right," Takashi smiles at him genuinely and grips his hand tighter.

_As long as you are alive, there's still time._

* * *

**end.**


End file.
